D3 body, D1 cock
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
