i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
