Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
