My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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