i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
