i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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