you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
