First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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