I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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