lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
