So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
