I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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