Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
