You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
