Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
