After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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