capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
