At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
