did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
