walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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