I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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