what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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