I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
