He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
