I hate all girls vehemently.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize