You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
