Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize