can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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