I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize