i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
