i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize