we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
