Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
