lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
