Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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