tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
