All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
