Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
