Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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