Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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