well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Even my vagina gasped.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
