physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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