Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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