If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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