So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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