I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
