Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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