he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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