Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The Olympian is in my bed
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