Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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