Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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