WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
