trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
