i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
