I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
