let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
