We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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