someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize