You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
