all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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