hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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