so explain again why im purple
no
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
