you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
