Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize