Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
