Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
