ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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