And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
