..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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