why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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