my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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