their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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