While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
