I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
