I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
