You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
