I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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