Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
